135 – People Pleasing and Collections

It wasn’t until I was SIX years into running my own business before I actually sent someone to collections.  We would call, send letters, have our lawyer send letters, call again, and over and over we would try to stay in communication with someone.  And yet, I would either take the hit, or keep that balance there to stare at me until 2016 when I finally started to stand up for myself.

I was too terrified that people wouldn’t like me.   Even though, they were basically okay with me doing the work and them not paying for the results.

In fact, I would make up stories in my head about why they couldn’t pay (and yes, there are many people that have valid reasons, but I’m talking about the folks that just “ghost us” and don’t keep up in the loop about a crisis or hardship).

These other stories, I would blame myself.  Seriously, it would magically become my fault.  Thinking I had pissed them off, or said the wrong thing, or that they didn’t get the results and were just too nice to not tell me.

I am a recovering people pleaser.  A “Nice Guy”.  And it has nearly cost me my business.   I had to cut corners to make up for this lost income due, I didn’t pay payroll taxes thinking I would catch up later.  Yeah right.

I was about to “nice guy” myself into bankruptcy.  Just to be liked.  And really, do you really think they liked me more because of it.

Nope.   And if you find yourself trying to be like this, then you know, deep down, I’m right.   And you’re sacrificing everything for that.

When are you going to stand up for yourself.   Provide amazing value to the world, and be rewarded for it.   Whether by money, love, respect, or time.  Because unless you’re willing to express your needs, no one is going to go out of their way to meet yours (even if you happen to do that for others).

I have learned the hard way.