105 – I Don’t Do It That Way

Backstory

God Bless my wife, she said this to me while we were doing demolition on our basement.  What I wanted to say to this and what I did say to this was totally different.  Because really… I was confused about why she would even say this to me.

So this past weekend, we decided to rip out a kitchenette in our basement to make way for a family room.  During this time, she thought I was angry and having a terrible time.  She thought this because I was tearing things out and throwing scraps in a pile.  For me, I thought this was perfectly normal and I was having a great time.  For her, she thought I was mad and throwing a tantrum.

Again, if we had only taken a moment to create clarity then we would have not operated out of a place of conflict and hurt feelings.

She was hurt because she thought I didn’t want to do this project.  I was upset because I apparently wasn’t doing this project “right”.  I was irritated because she was trying to make me to a project differently that what I had envisioned.  The problem is that we took way too long to just stop what we were doing and explain the process and expectation.

Imagine what could be possible is we just took a moment to explain our expectation and process to our kids when we ask them for help or to do something.  How about our team or spouse, or even ourselves.

It’s not enough to declare a goal to ourselves without truly having clarity about it.